She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
