i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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