How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
