from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can feel your judgement through the phone
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
