I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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