At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
