there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
