Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
