I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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