Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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