is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
