This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
