I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
