Swine flu. Run for my life!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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