ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
