Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize