Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
