Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
