I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
