Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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