so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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