Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
