Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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