i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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