Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
