And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he thought i was a dude.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
