look no pants
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
