i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize