ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
