its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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