I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
