why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
