About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
