that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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