I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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