like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
