My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize