I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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