Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
