I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
