Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
