before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
