Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
