Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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