all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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