Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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