Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
