Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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