I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
