I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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