hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
