even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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