Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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