I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize