Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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