I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
