What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
