"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
