I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
