What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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