you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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