god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
