why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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