She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
