I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
