let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
