kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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