your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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