hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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